monkeyballs

Howdy: You found the treasure! MONKEYBALLS

We're glad to see you made it to the first treasure page of the mental math stuff. There is a lot more treasure after this page too.

This treasure chest holds a pretty funny joke that you may copy and use legally.

It also holds some funky pictures of "monkey balls." The "monkey ball", as they are commonly known in our neck of the woods, is a large green ball which grows on our trees.

Read the joke while the pics are downloading. Once they are down, you may save any that you want, free of charge, with no copyright worries of "stealing." We are GIVING them to you to use on your websites and documents as you see fit.

Free Funky Joke: (copy and use as you like)

THE RED FLUFFY DRESS:

One Monday morning, fifty-seven year old, slightly balding, mildly cross-eyed, and moderately overweight, Milton Thorntweaser reported to his job at the West Newton Frankfurter Stuffing Plant.

His coworkers noticed that the left side of his fat, little, bald, head was swollen and bruised purple. His friend,George Pilgrim asked him, "Hey Milt what happened to your head?"

Milton responded,"I went to church yesterday."

"You got in a fight at church!" George replied, amazed. George thought Milton was teasing him so he continued on.

"Oh, common Milton. You can't really mean that happened in church."

"Well, yes, actually. You see I sat behind a rather fat woman with a big fluffy red dress yesterday in church." said Milton.

"So?" said George.

"Well, when we rose to sing the first hymn, her dress got caught in her behind cheeks. So I reached forward and pulled it out. She turns around and hits me with her suitcase of a pocketbook," said Milton.

At this point all the guys at the frankfurter stuffing plant laughed heartily.

"You gotta watch out for them big fat women with dress eatin behind cheeks Milton. They's dangerous!" assured George.

********

Now the following Monday Milton came to work with the right side of his head swollen and bruised purple.

Now George said, "Hey Milt, did you go to church again and get beat up?"

Milton replied, "Yes I went to church, but I declare I don't understand women."

To this George couldn't resist teasing, "What happened, did you pull her dress out again?"

"Well, absolutely not. I ain't stupid." said Milton.

"So what happened?" asked George, getting pretty curious now.

"Well, I just so happened to sit behind that same fat woman again. When we rose for the first hymn, her dress got caught again. Now I KNEW she didn't want it out, so I didn't do nothin, but the guy beside me pulled it out."

"Well I feared for his life, so I stuffed it back in."

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