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FREE JOKE: (cut and paste as you like)

FRED & ETHEL

Fred and Ethel had been married for sixty-two years. They had lived a very quiet, very practical, very frugal life.

One day Fred read in the paper that the local airport was going to sponsor an "air fun show". The paper said that there would be al kinds of planes: war planes, old planes, new planes, even stunt planes. The paper said that rides would be offerred for a small fee.

Fred said to Ethel, "Ethel, how bout us goin on down to that there air show?"

Ethel said, "Now Fred that sounds a bit frivolous. You know that we live a quiet, practical, frugal life."

Fred, who usually listened to his wife's lead, was insistant on this one though. He ventured, "Oh Ethel, can't we just go to look. I'm almost eighty years old and I aint never been close to an airoplane. I don't want to die without seeing no airoplane. PLEASE ETHEL."

Ethel who was not used to being talked to like this was a bit surprised. She replied, "Well Fred, if it really means that much to you, I suppose we could go take a peak. As long as it doesn't cost nothin."

So that is how Ethel and Fred found themselves in front of the "Death Defying Double Triple Air Loop Bi-Plane Ride." They watched as a couple of people, not much younger than they themselves, entered the plane.

The pilot took these folks up in the deep blue sky and did loop after loop after loop. Ethel and Fred could hear their screams of fear from 700 feet below. The funny thing was that when they got off the plane, the old couple was all smiles and couldn't stop talking about how that was the most fun they had EVER had in their lives.

Well now Fred, who had spent the last sixty-two years of his life being quiet and practical and frugal could bear it no longer. His unsatisfied lust for adventure got the best of him and lead him to say, "Oh Ethel, can we PLEASE go on that there airoplane?"

To this Ethel indignantly remarked, "Fred I am surprised at you. Can't you see that the sign says $10 per ride?"

"Well yes, but.." fred replied before Ethel started to interrupt him.

"Yes, it does and you know that TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS! We aint goin on that there contraption, and that's final." Ethel said firmly.

Now the pilot was close enough to Ethel and Fred to hear this. He also tried to encourage Ethel, saying it would be an experience to remember.

Ethel stood her ground and would NOT get into the plane or fork over the $10. So the pilot took up two young teenagers next.

Once again the screams were heard all the way on the ground. When the plane landed the kids were alive with smiles and laughter. Joy was painted all over their faces.

Again Fred pleaded with Ethel, "PLEASE Ethel can we go on that there plane. It would mean the world to me to take a ride like that. I don't want to die without ever doing something fun and exciting. PLEASE I beg you, can we go?"

Now Ethel was getting a bit peeved at this insistence of her otherwise sheepish husband. She yelled, "FRED how many times do I have to tell you, The sign says $10 per ride. TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS! We ain't waistin the money."

Now the pilot heard this too, and it gave him an idea of how he could help out Fred and still make a profit for himself.

He went over to Fred and Ethel and he said, "I understand your concern about wasting hard earned money on frivolous activities, so let me make a deal with you."

"I'll take you both up in my plane and give you the complete ride for FREE if you two can go through the entire ride without making a sound, absolutely no yelling or screaming. Do you think you are up to the challenge?" said the pilot.

Just as Fred was about to beg, Ethel, who believed herself to be the most self controlled human in the entire town, rose to the challenge. "Of course we are up to the challenge! Lead the way Mr. Airoplane driver."

*****

Well up they did go. They soared very high and then came the first flip. The pilot waited for the screams that he knew would come. But they didn't come. He was shocked.

So he decided the old bat was biting her tongue and would need a bit more of a loop. He took the plane even higher and did a double, but no screams or yells came from the coulple behind him.

The pilot was starting to get mad. He never for a moment thought that he might not get his $10. He had NEVER had anyone in his plane who did not scream. It was unthinkable. So he continued on with the wildest ride he had ever given ANYONE, but still not a sound.

When they landed he jumped out of the plane and ran over to Fred. Fred looked a bit grey.

The pilot yelled at him, "I don't understand. How could you go through that ride and not make any sound?"

Fred replied sheepishly, "I almost said something when Ethel fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars!"

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