You might be a redneck if...

If you refer to the 5th grade as my senior year.

If your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade.

If your richest relative buys a new place to live and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

If you think a six pack and a bug zapper is high quality entertainment.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

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