Zig
and Grizelda
Walk Through a Hole in a Piece of Paper
by: S.K. Martz Copyright 2001 themathlab.com
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Part 1,
2, 3,
4, 5,
6, 7,
8, 9, 10,
11
"Oh MAN, NO!...This can't be happening to me," moaned Zig, as he heard the words come out of Mr. Donelly's mouth.
"How can he do this to me? Doesn't he realize that I've just spent the last eight weeks of my life priming Clarissa Bently to say 'yes.' I know with just another week of smooth words and funny classroom jokes, I'd have had her eating out of my hand. She'd have been begging to be seen as MY woman at the Spring Break Fling," he mentally screamed.
"Yes, she, Clarissa Bently, the hottest chick in Wesley High School, would be MINE. She would be buying that sexy, black, strapless, dress and painting her naked shoulders with florescent glitter FOR ME. She'd be whispering into MY ear all the things that lovers say during those dimly lit, spring fling dances." The injustice of it all made him almost develop a bit of verbally, expressive "attitude" toward Mr. Donelly.
Zig wasn't normally an individual who threw around negative attitude, especially towards teachers. Anyway, Mr. Donelly was the coolest teacher they'd ever had for math, and Zig couldn't see messing with him over something like this.
He leaned back and said to Marty, "Why does he have to change our seats TODAY?"
Marty replied, " Come on man, give it up. You've been sitting beside that hottie Clarissa for eight full weeks. If you ain't there yet kid, you ain't never gonna be."
"Some friend you are Marty," fired back Zig. "You know I need more time to get a girl on fire for me. You know they have to fall for my wit and genuine loving nature, because I have a less than studly bod," reminded Zig.
"Yeah, Yeah, I hear you, loser. You know you're just a wuss when it comes to asking out girls. You're fine when it comes to a bunch of us just hangin', but that old 'one-on-one' has still got you stumped. Why I bet you ain't never even kissed a girl," said Marty.
"Hey Mart, don't you go there. Remember, each man to his own time. My time just hasn't arrived yet, but it will," said Zig.
"How do you know it will Zig? Lordy boy, ain't you almost 17 years old?" teased Marty.
"No way, gerbil. I'll be sixteen soon. I've got my whole life ahead of me. Anyway, I have it on terrific authority that this is the year that I learn to do the, 'one-on-one'," replied Zig.
"Well smack my head kid! Why didn't you reveal this earlier? Now tell old Martin here on WHOSE authority did this glorious revelation originate?" Marty prodded.
Zig got a bit red and started to smile wider at this question. He began to say, "It was at the fair this summer, there was this scraggly old fortune teller, she had a droopy eye and a wart on her finger, and she smelled kinda funny ...," when Mr. Donelly finally got around to Zig's name in the quarterly reassigning of the math learning pairs.
"And at this table I want to see ZIG DORFF and GRIZELLA SPOON."
At this point, Mr. Donelly launched into his well meaning, explanation speech on his philosophy of the all famous need for learning pairs, and how they should be assigned. "You see people, I believe it is tremendously important for you to be able to TALK about your math problems with another living human, and since you need to do this, well it might as well be a human of the opposite sex."
He paused for a moment, seeing a few of the guys smiling and a few of the girls rolling their eyes, but smiling. "Let's face it, where is the joy in life if you can't strut your stuff in school, right?" he continued. The class laughed at this. "I mean why are you guys and gals getting up at 5 AM every morning to shower and fix your hair just perfect, if it's not for the OPPOSITE SEX?" The class laughed harder. "Okay, so in math class you will always have a chance for some good concrete interaction with the opposite sex, just as long as it's MATH you're interacting about!" finished Mr. Donelly.
"Now, as I was saying, I want ZIG DORFF and GRIZELDA SPOON here at this group," he continued on.
Zig took a double-take shock moment. Could he really have heard what he just heard? Did Mr. Donelly really just say, TWICE, that he, ZIG, was to sit for the last quarter of the school year beside "the GRIZ."
No this was just too unthinkable. Not only was he being unjustly stripped from Clarissa, the babe with the golden flowing hair and soft sexy body, but he was being thrown into the pit with the demon ugly, mean thing, witch woman. There simply had to be a mistake. This COULD NOT be happening.
